【篇1】托福独立写作怎么审题
与忽略关键词的人不同，有些同学过于执着于关键词的字面意思，而没能看出其背后的implication，从而被关键词限制住思路，无法下笔。比起忽略关键词，这种错误更常发生在细心且实力不错的同学身上，也很值得大家注意。笔者建议，在写文章的时候要灵活，不要拘泥于关键词的字面意思，否则理由很不好想，就算想出来也很难用英文表达。例如：
例3：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education.
题目的意思是说，比起投资大学教育，政府应该在小学教育上投入更多的资金。看到这个题，同学们会有不同的看法，大体来讲无非是两种——认为university education应该花更多的钱或反之。但是，大家很快会发现证明任何一种观点都是不容易的。比如说，有些同学可能会这样写：Agree. 1. Elementary school education involves more students than university education and it requires more money; 2. Colleges and universities have more sponsors than elementary schools so that the government should offer more financial support for the latter.3. Since elementary school education is the cornerstone of university education, it deserves more money from the government.
上面的主题句看起来是没有问题的，然而在展开的时候困难重重——个点里说Pupils的数量多所以花钱多，这的确是事实，可是pupil人均所需要的经费却肯定比university students少，最关键的是，我们并没有数据作为支撑;第二点里说校友或社会人士的支持使得大学在财政方便面比小学要宽裕的多，然而，这还是一个没有数据就无法证明的观点;第三点里说elementary school education是university education的基础所以前者就应当比后者得到更多的预算，这是一个典型的逻辑错误，因此在段落展开的时候将会十分困难。A是B的基础并不意味着要为A花更多的钱。总之，钱本身就是一个可以量化的东西，如果真的以钱的多少来写这道题，在没有数据支持的情况下是很难成文的。许多同学之所以在写的时候觉得自己的文章很牵强，就是因为把该文当成了论述题，而大家要知道，论述题都是要会给出数据让我们来分析的。那么，在没有数据的情况下，这种题目该怎么写呢?找到money后面的implication很重要。其实，题目并不是要我们去讨论哪种教育应该花更多的钱，而是让我们去对比两种教育的重要性，自然地，更加重要的教育就应该花更多的钱。所以我们可以有以下论述：
(Main idea) I cannot agree that the government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education, because they are equally important.
(Topic sentence) 1. Elementary school education prepares children for college education by teaching them how to learn and what they are supposed to learn.
总而言之，托福独立写作审清题目的关键在于把握好题目中的关键词，不论是理解错误还是忽略关键词都有可能会导致作文写跑题。建议大家在开始写托福独立写作之前先读题目，找到关键词,确定透彻理解以后再开始列大纲准备写作。
托福写作：精准用词
第一种方法是用一个单词代替一组意义相同的单词，比如：
①用forget(忘记)代替do not remember(没有记住)
②用ignore(忽视)代替do not pay attention to(不注意)
③用now(现在)代替at this point in time(此时此刻)
④用because(由于)代替due to the fact that(鉴于下列事实)
第二种方法是省略同义词或近义词，比如在下面例句中，形容词important(重要的)和significant(有重要意义的)，就是两个同义词(也可以说是近义词)，我们可以省略important，只保留significant。
①The government project is important and significant.(这项政府计划是重要的，有重要意义。)
②The government project is significant.(这项政府计划有重要意义。)
第三种方法是在不改变句子含义的前提下，省略所有可以省略的单词，比如在下面例句中，the cover of the book (书的封面)可以省略成the book cover，is red in color(是红色的)可以省略成is red。
①The cover of the book is red in color.(书的封面是红色的)
②The book cover is red.(书的封面是红色的)
最后我们把这三种方法结合起来，将一个冗长、绕嘴的句子，改写成一个简短、易懂的句子。
①University malls must be accessible and free from congestion in order that students, faculty and employees may have unobstructed passage through those areas of the campus.(校内道路必须是便于通行的，不拥堵的，以便让学生、教师和职员能够无阻碍地通过，到达校园的各处。)
②University malls must be free enough from congestion to allow people to walk through easily.(校内道路不应当拥堵，以便人们顺利通行。)
托福写作：如何避免啰嗦
所谓“言简朴实原则”，就是行文不啰嗦，句子应越短越好，如果一个字能说清楚的，就不要用两个字。
例如：At this point in time，we should pull together for our goal. 现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致。
这句话中“At this point in time”表示“现在”，我们完全可以用now来代替。
In the majority of cases，he likes to ride bike to the office. 他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室。
很简单的一句话，完全可以写成 He usually likes to ride bike to the office。
平时我们所说的用词多样化和地道并不是体现在这些时间副词或者是完全可以简化的啰嗦句型上，而是指实用性极强的词如动词和形容词，比如：
Original：Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and help you to understand other people"s feelings and learn to be kind。
Revised： Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience and help you to understand other people"s feelings and learn to be considerate。
add，kind表达的含义都比较宽泛。 add可以指数量上的增加，也可以指程度的加强，对于“丰富经验、增加知识”这个意思，用enrich会使表达更准确。
kind从字面意义上讲是“好的、善良的”，用kind来形容人无法具体地表现出一个人的性格特征到底怎样，原句中是想表达“考虑周到、体贴入微”的特点，要准确表达这个含义应选择considerate。
另外，我们常见的一些累赘用词表现在句意的理解上。
比如：He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。他有多年经商的经验。
actual是多余的，因为experience已经有actual的意味了。
We assembled(together) all the parts for our radio. 我们装好收音机的零件。
assemble本身就有together的意思，因此together是多余的。“平等相处原则”的意思是行文不出现明显的带歧视或偏见的字眼，包括男女性别，也要避免区别，以示“平等”。
例如：
Many businessmen(businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful. 许多商人觉得工作压力很大。
这句话写 businessmen或是businesswomen都是不妥当的，可以改为 business people或 business executives或business managers就可以包括男女了。
当然，一些带有种族偏见的字眼，甚至有侮辱的味道(insulting words 或 slur)，也要尽量避免使用，以免闹出麻烦。例如：
对黑人不要用 Negro，更不能用Nigger(用 Black 还可以)，礼貌的说法 是Afro-American 或African-American;对白人不要用Honky(这是黑人骂白人的用字)，正确用法是 Caucasian，或 white people;对犹太人不要用 Hymies，应该叫Jewish 或 Jewishpeople;对越南人不要用 Gook，要用 Vietnamese;至于墨西哥人、西班牙人及中、南美洲人，包括 Puerto Rico，正确的用法多是Hispanics 或 Latins，不过据说西班牙人为了维护自己的文化，倒喜欢别人称为 Spaniard。
【篇2】托福独立写作怎么审题
托福独立写作：常见审题误区
同学们考写作考了这么多年，大多数出题的形式都已烂熟于心，看到题目之后觉得熟悉于是兴冲冲提笔就写，其实，这种看似“熟练”的表象下藏着巨大的隐患--同学们很有可能因为看得太快而忽略某个决定题目意思的关键词。例如：
例1：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the only main cause for people"s unhealthy eating habits.
看到这个题目，同学们立刻会开始想，有没有other reasons for unhealthy habits，想出三条如：1. People"s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours; 2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”; 3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever. 综上所述，advertising is not the only cause.
这个写法看起来非常完备，但其实犯了一个不起眼却严重的错误--题目不是要我们证明it is not the only cause，而是要我们去证明it is not the only main cause。多一个“main”，意思是很不一样的。如果我们只需要证明it is not the only cause，那么找出other causes即可即例1中的写法。但是，如果我们要证明it is not the only main cause，就需要证明other causes that we mentioned are also main causes，这就需要在每一段中加上一些专门的说明。或者，更简单的办法是去证明advertising is not even a cause, 直接在每段的末尾加上advertising与该段所论述的unhealthy eating habit无关的论述即可。If it is not a cause, how can it be the onlymain cause? 这样一来，就不用通过证明还有其他main cause来反驳了，事实上，证明某种cause是main cause还是挺有难度的，因此笔者推荐同学们用后一种方式进行论述。因此，文章还是disagree，而三段的主题句分别应该是：1、1. People"s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours, and it is obvious that they are too busy to be influenced by advertising; 2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”, and this is more like a result of human nature, the pursuit of beauty, but not advertising; 3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever, and it is quite clear that no advertising encourages them to do so.
例2：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges and universities should offer more preparation for student before they start working.
看到这个题目，很多同学会可能会这样写：Agree. 1. Students should take morespecializedcourses(专业课)in order to be knowledgeable and skillful enough for their future careers(接着开始论述being knowledgeable and skillful的重要性); 2.Participating in internships helps students to have a clearer picture of their vocational development in the future(接着开始论述，如果没有实过习，在工作的时候是多么地feel so unprepared); 3. Attending more club activities is an effective way to improve social skills, which are crucial for success both in life and at work(接着开始论述good social skills对职业和生活的帮助).如果不看括号里的内容，仅看主题句，这篇文章是没有任何问题的。然而，括号中的论述从严格意义上来讲，是不能支持“more”这个关键词的。举个简单的例子：“我们需要钱”和“我们需要更多钱”在证明的时候重点是不一样的。如果证明“我们需要钱”，应该详细
阐述钱的“不可或缺性”，比如生活、学习、教育都需要钱;但是如果证明“我们需要更多钱”，重点则应该放在“钱不够”的论述上，证明在学习、生活、教育方面的预算都很紧张。同样地，上面的题目中仅仅证明Knowledge for careers, field experience and social skills are important是不够的，事实上，这些根本不需要证明，需要证明的事情是graduates today are not well prepared in the three aspects. 因此这篇文章应该是一篇“抱怨型”的文章，详细地去论述学校工作的不足。参考思路如下：Agree. 1. Many students today complain that they cannot learn practical skills and up-to-date information, for some of their teachers are not qualified enough to teach specialized courses; 2. Since many students are not allowed enough time to participate in internship programs before graduation, they know very little about what their future jobs like; 3. Joining clubs is possible for every college student, yet not every club provide is capable of offering enough opportunities for students to practice their social skills.
同学们在写文章的时候一定要注意，学术论文写作不是句型和辞藻的堆砌，整篇文章一定是一个well-organized system，这个system中很重要的原则之二就是--
1、每个中间段的topic sentence是用来支持main idea的;
2、topic sentence后面的每句话都是用来支持该topic sentence的。在上面的两个例子中，大家会发现例1的错误主要是main idea没有很好地被topic sentence支持;而例2的错误在于topic sentence虽然看起来是支持main idea的，但是论述的内容可能跟关键词“more”无关，从而不能有力地支持topic sentences。这些错误的起因，则是对题干中关键词的忽略。
托福考试作文独立写作范文：中学生应该在上大学前花时间工作旅行吗
Students should spend at least one year working or travelling before they go to the university.
【题目大意】： 中学生是否应该在上大学之前拿出至少一年去工作或旅行。主观点可以同意，因为一让学生放松，二可以让学生学到新的技能。
题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Students should take at least a year to work or travel before beginning college.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: After high school, students should have at least one year to work or travel. It"s better than attending university straight away.
范文参考一:
The prevailing notion is that high school students are under huge pressure. Then appears a controversy whether students should have one year to engage in other things before they attend their university. After weighing the pros and cons, I am favor of the opinion that having a gap year can produce many benefits.
First off, students can benefit a lot from traveling. As everyone knows, to maintain strong competitiveness, high school students are required to accomplish a wide range of either required or optional curriculums at school and the rights to develop their own interests have been deprived relentlessly, which has proven to be a detriment of their growth. Instead of pursuing their bachelor degree without pause in the college, traveling can help them regain chances to cultivate and perfect their personalities and release pressure. For instance, many more college graduates are reported to be indifferent to the society and show no mercy on those in need, part of which owes a lot to the fact that schools lay more emphasis on cultivating students’ academic abilities and downplay the importance of developing their overall qualities. Traveling to those places in poverty can give students a sight of those impoverished families to call on the sense of responsibility. Besides, by paying a visit to some places of interest like the Great Wall or the pyramid in Egypt, students can approach the greatness of diverse culture. What’s more, the direct access to the natural world can appease students’ inner uproar. Accordingly, a gap year can be a great asset for high school graduates.
Secondly, by taking part-time jobs, not only can students accumulate sufficient social experience but also earn some money to reduce financial stress on their families. Though economy in China keeps growing at a rate of almost 9 percent in the recent, average citizens still suffer huge pressure especially when the slump of stock market took a heavy toll on them and the majority of stock investors withdrew their money and reinvest to the real estate, further increasing pressure on the ordinary because of the increasing prices of housing. For most families from small cities and rural areas, college tuition still appears to be a great burden on them and by taking part-time jobs, students can earn some wages to relieve financial pressure, such as serving as a restaurant attendant that enables students to better develop their communication techniques and learn more about how to meet the demands of consumers or working as a salesman that will be an entirely different experience from high schools and can lead to the cultivation of the ability of presenting customers the advantages of products. Obviously, a gap year means a lot to high school graduates.
Admittedly, there is another voice that high school students are supposed to start their campus life immediately after graduation from high schools. To be more specific, maintaining high-efficiency study can lead students to be better acclimated to their college life. Instead of going to college soon, a gap year may disrupt their study schedule and weaken their learning skills. It appears to be sensible, however; the ultimate goal of attending a university is to seek a decent job and gaining social experience in advance makes students more conscious of which kind of area they are more interested in in the near future such as the serving industry or high-tech fields.
In conclusion, high school graduates had better live a different life temporarily before they go to college.
写作参考二:
Gap year, a break between high school and college, has become a trend among many American and European students theses years. As the popularity of gap year has grown, so to has its appeal. Generally, it can be constructed (working in a company, taking time off to improve coding skills, learning a language, working on personal projects) or unconstructed (travelling, figuring out what to do as it comes). The idea of gap year has been strongly questioned by some nervous parents, however, some supporters contend that it will be a lifelong treasure which enables one to have the full command of his life. From my perspective, taking a year to work or travel before college brings about more advantages than shortcomings.
To begin with, a gap year helps guide students’ future education and life goals. Most of young students do not know exactly what they wanted to do once they left high school or even half way through college. Working or travelling a year will give them some “real world experience” as well as insight into their interests and strengths which will help them shape a path to a successful career. Once students learn a whole lot about themselves, they are likely to take full advantage of college. Take an Australian boy for an example. Enjoying his gap year in Nepal, he helps the locals in Pokhara to build their organic farms. He is so passionate about what he is doing now and he decided to pursue environmental science after he comes back to university. The internships and professional experience gained over the gap year will have much more influence on the development of one’s future than college.
In addition, taking a year off can refresh the tired-out high school graduates. In general, it will take at least ten years before jumping into the long and challenging years of university. There is no doubt that studious students will spare no effort to improve their academic performance with the expectation that they will receive offers from their dream schools. Under the competitive pressure of high school, they will not only prepare for exams such as SAT or ACT but also seek for voluntary opportunities to enrich their Curriculum Vitae. My younger sister used to travel to Cuba to volunteer with brown bears for three months. After that she went to Europe driving her Vespa across more than 20 cities. She said it was so different from school. She won’t have to attend a test at then end of the trimester, which means that there is no peer pressure or any pressure from outside. At the same time she can reorganize her mind which was full of chemical equations, historical events as well as verses from poems.
It is true that students who choose to drop a year are more likely to lose their study skills. During the gap year, there will be less chances for them to participate in actual classes in college. Without attending lectures given by famous professor and communicating face-to-face with classmates, the whole learning process will be incomplete. Many of study skills could not be developed and trained, which leads directly to the deprivation of both academic ability and motivation. However, it won’t be a potential problem nowadays because most of top universities offer MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses). Students can study random topics through free online classes. Although they don’t have any college credit, they learned a lot, met wonderful people, and keep their brains in shape for college.
Ultimately, the benefits of gap year far outweigh the only drawback because it can help exhausted students relax both mentally and physically and provide them with the opportunities to take a step back to focus on their goals, leading to a stronger sense of direction once they’re back in the classroom.!
写作参考三:
Under the educational system of many western countries, taking a gap year, a period of time when students can take a break from formal education, has become quite common. When it comes to the pros and cons of spending at least one year working or travelling before attending university, people’ preference may vary from one to another. As for me, it is advisable for high schoolers to have a year off to work or travel, in order to relax themselves and gain new skills.
In the first place, spending a year travelling will provide high school students a good chance to escape the daily grind. As is common sense, the life of high schooler are filled with countless assignments, various quiz and exams, which nearly drive them to be stressed out. Obviously, what they need most is the vent for releasing all the tensions and pressures accuring in the rapid rhythm campus life. Consequently, taking a break from educaion and going away for while can fulfill this function well. During the gap year, students can surf in Hawaii, wake boarding in Italy, go bungee jumping in New Zealand and enjoy the sunbath on the seashore of Miami. Such a short escape from the daily bustle and hustle will be conducive to their mental and physical wellbeing. Not only this, but travelling during a gap year can provide a renewed vigor for stuy and a more focused approach to learning.
In the second place, taking a year off to do some internship can help high school students acquire more new pratical skills and thus adapt to the university life more smoothly. Many gap year students choose to do voluntary work. This could include teaching in the mountains in Nepal, a conservation project in Madagascar, an expedition in Costa Rica or an internship in Japan. All these experiences of taking voluntary jobs during a gap year will provide you with much more than any classroom setting ever can. We can learn a lot in the classroom, but it isn"t until we put it into practice in the real world that we really understand what"s going on. To be specific, throughout school we are surrounded by the same folks at similar ages. However, while working in a company, we are bound to discover others, make new friends, and interact with people from all walks of life, which will defnitely hone our social skills. It is undoubted that people with strong interpersonal competence can enjoy great popularity among classmates and teachers.
In a nutshell, it is a wise move to spend at least one year travelling or working for the sake of taking a break from daily routine and acquire new skills.
【篇3】托福独立写作怎么审题
审题，是写作的第一步，却经常被大家所忽略。有太多考生只着眼于如何写出漂亮的句子和高级的词汇，而没有搞清写作的本质--考察学生针对某一话题进行准确连贯表述的能力。这也是为什么很多同学虽然英语不弱，在托福考试的独立部分中却只能拿到 fai r或 good 当中较低的4分。那么到底怎样才能更加容易地拿到独立写作的满分呢? 笔者今天将通过列举以往考过的真题进行解析，告诉大家如何审题，换句话说，如何使高分变得更加achievable。
同学们考写作考了这么多年，大多数出题的形式都已烂熟于心，看到题目之后觉得熟悉于是兴冲冲提笔就写，其实，这种看似“熟练”的表象下藏着巨大的隐患--同学们很有可能因为看得太快而忽略某个决定题目意思的关键词。例如：
例1：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the only main cause for people"s unhealthy eating habits.
看到这个题目，同学们立刻会开始想，有没有other reasons for unhealthy habits，想出三条如：1. People"s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours; 2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”; 3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever. 综上所述，advertising is not the only cause.
这个写法看起来非常完备，但其实犯了一个不起眼却严重的错误--题目不是要我们证明it is not the only cause，而是要我们去证明it is not the only main cause。多一个“main”，意思是很不一样的。如果我们只需要证明it is not the only cause，那么找出other causes即可即例1中的写法。但是，如果我们要证明it is not the only main cause，就需要证明other causes that we mentioned are also main causes，这就需要在每一段中加上一些专门的说明。或者，更简单的办法是去证明advertising is not even a cause, 直接在每段的末尾加上advertising与该段所论述的unhealthy eating habit无关的论述即可。If it is not a cause, how can it be the onlymain cause? 这样一来，就不用通过证明还有其他main cause来反驳了，事实上，证明某种cause是main cause还是挺有难度的，因此笔者推荐同学们用后一种方式进行论述。因此，文章还是disagree，而三段的主题句分别应该是：1、1. People"s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours, and it is obvious that they are too busy to be influenced by advertising; 2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”, and this is more like a result of human nature, the pursuit of beauty, but not advertising; 3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever, and it is quite clear that no advertising encourages them to do so.
例2：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges and universities should offer more preparation for student before they start working.
看到这个题目，很多同学会可能会这样写：Agree. 1. Students should take morespecializedcourses(专业课)in order to be knowledgeable and skillful enough for their future careers(接着开始论述being knowledgeable and skillful的重要性); 2.Participating in internships helps students to have a clearer picture of their vocational development in the future(接着开始论述，如果没有实过习，在工作的时候是多么地feel so unprepared); 3. Attending more club activities is an effective way to improve social skills, which are crucial for success both in life and at work(接着开始论述good social skills对职业和生活的帮助).如果不看括号里的内容，仅看主题句，这篇文章是没有任何问题的。然而，括号中的论述从严格意义上来讲，是不能支持“more”这个关键词的。举个简单的例子：“我们需要钱”和“我们需要更多钱”在证明的时候重点是不一样的。如果证明“我们需要钱”，应该详细
阐述钱的“不可或缺性”，比如生活、学习、教育都需要钱;但是如果证明“我们需要更多钱”，重点则应该放在“钱不够”的论述上，证明在学习、生活、教育方面的预算都很紧张。同样地，上面的题目中仅仅证明Knowledge for careers, field experience and social skills are important是不够的，事实上，这些根本不需要证明，需要证明的事情是graduates today are not well prepared in the three aspects. 因此这篇文章应该是一篇“抱怨型”的文章，详细地去论述学校工作的不足。参考思路如下：Agree. 1. Many students today complain that they cannot learn practical skills and up-to-date information, for some of their teachers are not qualified enough to teach specialized courses; 2. Since many students are not allowed enough time to participate in internship programs before graduation, they know very little about what their future jobs like; 3. Joining clubs is possible for every college student, yet not every club provide is capable of offering enough opportunities for students to practice their social skills.
同学们在写文章的时候一定要注意，学术论文写作不是句型和辞藻的堆砌，整篇文章一定是一个well-organized system，这个system中很重要的原则之二就是--
1、每个中间段的topic sentence是用来支持main idea的;
2、topic sentence后面的每句话都是用来支持该topic sentence的。在上面的两个例子中，大家会发现例1的错误主要是main idea没有很好地被topic sentence支持;而例2的错误在于topic sentence虽然看起来是支持main idea的，但是论述的内容可能跟关键词“more”无关，从而不能有力地支持topic sentences。这些错误的起因，则是对题干中关键词的忽略。
【篇4】托福独立写作怎么审题
案例1：误解原意思
Do you agree or disagree: Because people are busy with doing so many things, they can do few things well?
Original：
Some people may hold the view that they are able to do things well even if they are busy with doing so many things simultaneously or during a given period. Although plausible at the first glance, I disagree with the statement. Depending on my own personal experience and personality, I firmly maintain that people can do few things well when they are busy with doing so many things. My arguments of this opinion are listed as follows.
解析：
文章第一句话不是对原题目意思进行解释，而是采用采取了和原意思相反的做法来进行题目诠释;第二句表明自己对误解题目的观点;第三句话对自己的观点进行近一步的解释;第四句一个过渡性的句子。开篇内容安排倒是很好，但是作者犯了误解原题目意思的错误导致后面整个文字都做了无用功。
Revised：
When people are engaged in a large extent of work simultaneously, they will not be able to perform all of them perfectly. Just imagine how terrible it will be: too many jobs need to be done by the same person in a given time. Once such a picture appears in my mind, I feel dizzy. To me, it is impossible to do everything well with the limited energy and many others factors .Therefore , I agree with the statement too many things to be done at the same time cause few to be well done . The reasons are as follow.
Revised：
第一句话对原题目意思进行了很好的诠释;第二、三句话进一步解释原题目;第四句话提出自己的观点;第五句话过渡性句子引起下文。
案例2 ：语言罗嗦，绕弯子给出自己观点，浪费时间
Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
original：
With the development of science and technology, people’s living standard has been improving day by day. According to the family plan, one couple could have only one child. So child becomes the center of the whole family. Some of them are even spoiled. Therefore, I think it is better if the young adult could live independent from their parents as soon as possible.
解析：
这个开头看似没有任何问题，但是仔细分析就会发现很多问题。首先，作者绕了个大弯才给出自己的观点。其次，观点是对原题目的抄写，改动的比较少。最后，开篇缺少引起下文的过渡句。更大的错误是这个开头更像是一个全文主要观点的一个分论点。
Revised:
As we all know, some young adults have the sense of independence in a special period so that they want to choose to live apart from their family, while others still choose to stay with parents in the family. Family can provide young adults a warm bay where he or she could turn to whenever any problems arise. However, considering the sound development of the young adult both mentally and physically, I think to live independently the earlier, the better. Independence is a lesson that each of us must face one day. The detailed reasons are listed below.
解析：
第一句话诠释原题目意思;第二句话进一步解释第一句话;第三句话提出自己的观点;第四句话解释自己的观点，引出下文。
托福独立写作开篇第一段是整个文章的主机调，这个部分如果出现问题整个文章就会黯然失色。
http://m.tuzhexing.com/waiyu/1338714/